Understand What Creates Courage & Apply to Create a Life You LoveApr 28, 2021
Courage and acts of bravery make us want to be better people. Every ANZAC and Memorial Day, I am humbled by the stories of heroism my countrymen and women have made. They fill me with pride to share the same flag; have you ever felt that way? How did they become so courageous? Can you inherit courage?
Can you learn to be brave?
In my experience, you absolutely can learn to more courageous and is most beneficial for yourself, your loved ones and the community when they are done for the right reasons. (Right, being simple golden rule obeying type of reasoning.) But first let’s look at the two types of triggers that inspire or create an environment where people move out of their safety zone and into what we recognize as acts of courage. And then in conclusion, I will show how you can take these triggers to apply to your own life and create a life that makes you burst with pride when you look at the life you live!
F-Factors are how I like to refer to these triggers. Can you guess what the “F” stands for? Thanks to the TV show Fear Factor, many people think that this is fear, which is a great idea since fear is often involved in acts of bravery but that is incorrect. The first F-Factor is “for”; people will be inspired to do brave things for people, places, ideals that they view as being bigger than themselves. They are fully present and aware of the risk and danger but the deem the act is worth the risk for their country, people, loved ones, brothers and sisters in arms. They are so attached to their cause that they will risk their lives to do what needs to be done. One of the most amazing people we lost in 2020 was John Lewis, always encouraging others to take action and to “get in trouble; good trouble; necessary trouble.” To learn more about John Lewis here Maybe you have seen acts of courage closer to home? Like a loved one who has fought through illness to be reunited and live a long and happy life with the people that they love. The one thread that all of these acts of courage is what motivates people to take action is their commitment to what is most important to them. This is not the only source of courage, however let look at the other F-Factor.
The second F-Factor, is the big F-bomb, yes the one you do not say in front of your mother but the one jumps out when you spill coffee on your shirt or a surprise bill comes in the mail. This F-Factor happens when you are fed up with the current situation and the need to get out is more appealing than the comfort of staying where you are.If you are hearing Janis Joplin belting out
“Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose,”
we should be friends! Sports analogy for the baseball/softball people, if you have ever squeezed the bat a little too tight and struck out under pressure, but later in the game, you are up at bat again, but the embarrassment of past failure has changed your mindset and you feel that you cannot play any worse than your last attempt, so you may as well have fun. You know that this is the moment before you knock ball out of the park. Have you been working toward a big commission, or needed a promotion based on your performance at work that you try so hard, and you only end up being trying to yourself and everyone around you. Until you reach the F-It moment and just be your own amazing self and you may have missed one opportunity, but another came along. In psychology speak, what happens is that you become so detached from the outcome that you stop caring whether you win or lose and you do it anyway. This mindset shift can be created without the embarrassing failure.
So how can you use this information to create a life that makes you feel proud? The beginning is acknowledging that you are living in a circumstance that you are not happy with, it can be a job, relationship, sleep routine, eating drinking, spending all the things that we know are not great for us, but we like to do them anyway. Once you know what it is, I want you to double check with yourself. Because here’s the thing that you can ask any Coach, what people think is the problem is, it usually isn't what they think it is.
What you perceive the problem to be and what it actually is can be very different!
You can read all of the books about change, but the magic happens when you decide what it is that you are willing to make the change FOR or FROM. Your community is more important than that cute pair of shoes, so you give back and get involved instead of spending for the post sale high. Maybe you have reached your F-It moment in time, welcome you are in good company. It does not matter what got you here, all that matters is how you move FROM here. You will need a moment to really tap into what about the ugly truth of this situation, again what you think caused at the surface level might be a good answer but only you know what caused it at the very heart of it all. From there, decide on what it is that you do not like about it, what you dislike what is going to let momentum build in moving to something better. Staying stuck in something ugly just creates, well, more ugly! If you’d like to download my free guide to help plan out your own personal F-Factor.
What’s your F-Factor? Who or what inspires, empowers or forces you to be braver than you ever knew you could be? What is so messed up in your life that are willing to say never again will I tolerate disrespect, hiding in my comfort zone from shame, blame and numbing the pain with food, alcohol, drugs. Here’s the thing, if you are numbing all the things, that you are running away from are right there with you. You are created to be more than a numbing or escape vessel. I have created a free guide to help you get started on your journey that you can access here. If you want to work on learning to be more courageous, I strongly recommend working with a coach, you can schedule a consult with me to think this through some more or there are coaches a few clicks away. Or if you are interested in attending a short course with me live on creating sustainable change fill out the form and I will let you know the finalized dates and time for May. We will meet through zoom for 4 days, for just 30 minutes a day that will change your life and it is free!
I dare you take this information and have a conversation with friends or family about their f-factors. We can learn lot about our possibilities of learning what moves the people that we love. You can always replace the f-bomb with the term fed up if it helps with people that you do not wish to curse in their company.
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